Absence of Affection
by LazyLiaurus
Summary: When everybody wants you, how can you be so alone? In the absence of affection, we'll take anything and call it love. The world won't keep you together and your heart won't see no end. When Harley starts to learn more about herself and gets twisted in romances besides the Joker, how will he react? Especially when he doesn't like when other's play with HIS things.
A/N: Welcome to my new story focusing around Harley Quinn and her relationship with The Joker. There will be sexual themes and some cursing. Of course some violence, but nothing too detailed. I hope you enjoy.

I sprawled out on our bed, the scent of blood entangling in the air along with sweat... maybe even _fear._ Was it me that was scared? No. At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself. But I'm not all _myself_ in there. Do I like the new me? Of course I do. The way the people beg me to spare them, how I'm the one in power. But of course it's not really that way. I don't call the shots.

It's all _**him**_.

I turn to find his sleeping figure lay in a heap next to me. His erratic breathing making his chest pump up and down. I stretch my hand out, hesitating to touch his face. Even asleep and ... somewhat peaceful... he's still terrifying. I let out a deep giggle, tossing the blonde bangs away from my face. I decide to be brave as I hoist myself up.

I swing my leg around his thin waistline, propping myself up on his hips. My chest begins to graze his as I lower my face close to his mouth. The warmth of his breath develops my cheeks, making them flush hot red. Whether they are red from passion or intense fear is beyond me, both of those feelings have become numb. They are one in the same for me. It's like spinning a game wheel, the outcome is a surprise. Never is it forth told.

As I inch closer, I see him begin to stir. Just as I was about to abandon my mission of even hoping for some type of action, his eyes sprung open. The yellow in his eyes beamed at me with his crazy irises going small. His eyebrows narrowed, pinching together in frustration. I could feel a lump bubble up in my throat as I awaited punishment.

His fingers gripped at my wrists, holding me in place as I froze. He pulled me down, having my head smack into his forehead. We were now directly face to face.

"Hu-ha-HA-HAHAHA!" He began to belch, his stomach rolling with laughter beneath me. "Oh, Harls. You little minx."

Phew, he's not mad. A small smile crept across my lips.

"I'm sorry, Mistah J, you are just too.." I licked my lips as I stared down at his scarred mouth. "Delicious." I muttered. He pushed me off of him, laying my back against the bed as he positioned himself above me. His face came down, I could feel the scars begin to rub over my lips as he kissed me intensely. His tongue roamed fiercely through my mouth as if trying to find a weak spot to hit me. He then stopped abruptly, sitting straight up with a face of seriousness overcoming him.

"Harley, you need to control yourself better. I was sleeping. That was no time to exploit your little... fantasies." He bellowed, his hand went up above his head and I knew what was coming next. **_SMACK_**. Hard against my cheek, it began to throb as I rolled over on the bed. It both hurt and lit me with more passion.

He climbed off of me, reaching for his iconic purple tux. I shot up from the bed, hand covering my cheek as I stared at him. He seemed to look into my eyes knowing all too well what I was hoping for.

"See, I know what you like toots. I gave you a taste, stop looking for a meal." He clicked his tongue against his teeth before exiting the room, leaving me only wanting more. Which is always wanted I wanted... _more. More of him._ _More_ of Gotham City's most psychotic villain.

The Joker.

* * *

 _She's broken._  
 _She's brainwashed._  
 _She's just plain crazy._  
 _She's a fool._  
 _She's his plaything._

I'm sick of people telling me what I am. My name is Harley Quinn, formally known as Harleen Quinzel. Everyday I thank my lucky stars that I was able to find my puddin' through my former line of work. Being a stiff doctor. If you ask me, I changed for the better! Who wants to be a boring white coat for the rest of their lives? Especially to fix people who aren't meant to be fixed. We are perfectly fine the way we are.

"Ain't that right, Mistah J?" I spoke aloud, covering my mouth as I realized I had been talking to myself.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm busy." He responded as he swat his hand at me. I stared down at the small table that encompassed our lively apartment. For freaks on the run, we always manage to find someplace homey enough. Whether it be factories, two star hotels, or a hole in the ground.. everything was made better because he was there.

I got up from the chair and ran over to the window, poking my nose out of the sealed blinds. We were on the thirteenth floor of a rundown apartment building. It was a great view of Gotham. I stare at the reflection of Joker's back in the glass of the window as my eyes danced over the rooftops of the city.

One day this will be _**our Gotham.**_

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Harley!" He hissed as he stood straight up from his chair. I flung around, trying to stay as silent as I could. My eyes shut tight as I tried to hear anything coming from the hallway.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

I made my way over to the door, grabbing my best friend - my huge pow hammer - as I stood by the doors side, getting ready to open it.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

I grabbed for the handle and swung it open, getting ready to bring my hammer down full force. The Joker rummaged through his pocket to reveal a hand gun that he held up towards the door.

"Well who's coming in to play?" He hissed as a shadowy figure emerged from the doorway.

"Oh, hush now it's just me." A voice spoke in a seductive tone, a voice I knew all too well. Joker sighed, rolling his eyes as he put the gun back into the pocket of his pants.

"Just perfect, another headache." Joker growled as he looked in my direction.

"Shove it, clown. I came to see Harley not you." Ivy motioned as she leaned her back against the doorframe. Everything she did always made her look so elegant. The way her red hair would perfectly curve down the arches of her back, how the green made the red in her hair pop. Yet here I was, a girl in a jester suit with unruly blonde pigtails. I was nothing compared to the beauty of Ivy.

"Watcha doin' here, Red?" I questioned as she gave me a shrug.

"I'm bored, so what's a girl to do? Let's go create some havoc, shall we?" She danced her fingers up my arm then poked at my cheek.

"Well, that sure does sun like fun. But I think the Joker needs me today." I responded as my heart fluttered, hoping to get some type of approval to that statement.

"Go away, I'm busy today." Joker rambled, scribbling away notes on a paper. He then picked up the phone on the table, plucking away the numbers on the rotating dial. "Meet me at the warehouse and don't dare be late." He whispered menacingly.

He turned to me, a smile plastered onto his face. The red face paint was beginning to chip at the sides of his mouth.

"I'll be around doll, for now don't bother me until I need you." His finger pointed at my chin as he poked it, a little to aggressively as my head snapped back. He then turned on his heel and headed out the door past Ivy. He gave Ivy one hell of a look before he left into the night.

"He's as charming as ever." Ivy spoke sarcastically as she grabbed my wrist. "Let's have some fun." She winked as I let out a huff of air.

"Well, looks like I'm free." I half heartedly smiled as she dragged me out the door.

* * *

Ivy sped around the turns in her car, making the tires squeak in return. Car rides with Ivy always made my adrenaline rush. Ivy seemed a bit more quiet than usual. Her face seemed to be twisted, her lips a bit puckered, and her eyes were a little too focused on the road. Now that's no fun. She didn't even mention where we were goin...

"So, uh, Red? Where we headed?" I asked, leaning my arm against the door as my jesters hat flew around in the breeze.

"The dive bar, I need a drink." She responded, shoving her hair behind her ears.

"Is everything okay there?" Her nose wrinkled at the question before she responded.

"Yeah, why wouldn't they be?"

"Ya' don't seem quite yourself today, sweetie. Did someone step on your plants?" I asked, a finger pressing to my bottom lip. She looked over at me, staring at my lips then tracing my eyes. "Red?"

"No, I would of killed anyone who did that." Ivy responded, her eyes glowing green as we pulled into the parking lot of the Gotham Dive. She jumped over the side door, heading towards the door while steadily moving her hips side to side. The thugs that hung around the outside began to whistle at her, drooling over her thin waistline.

"Stop starin' at the merchandise." I grunted, covering up her backside as I followed her in.

"Men are such filthy pigs." She cooed, stopping in front of the door, making me catapult into her back. She turned slightly, facing one of the thugs who was blowing kisses at her. "Oh, honey I'll gladly give you what you want." She seductively whispered as she reached out for the mans chin. She puckered her lips, as the wicked grin on the thug spread out like mad. Almost reminding me of the Joker, which meant I knew what was coming next.

"Ivy! Watch out!" I shrieked as them mans hands began to launch forward.

"Yeah, right! You crazy bitch, I ain't fallin for-" As soon as his bulky fingers were about to lace around her neck she blew some of her toxins at him, making him go under her trance.

"See, all men are dirty pigs." She smirked as he stared at her, awaiting her command. "Now buy me and my girl here a drink." The man nodded, walking inside mindlessly as she followed behind. I patted her on the shoulder with a toothy grin.

"That's my girl, Pammy! I am kinda low on funds!" I snickered as Ivy rolled her eyes.

"Geeze, Harls. Doesn't the Joker stuff your piggy bank?" She responded, sitting on one of the crooked barstools in front of the wooden bar.

"In more ways than one." I smirked with a slight blush as my eyebrows danced. Her face scrunched up in disgust.

"I can't believe you have sex with than man. I don't understand the attraction." The bar tender came over, eyeing the both of us conspicuously.

"What are you havin'?" He questioned as Ivy leaned her head against her hand. Her head seemed to be in another place, far away from this filthy dive bar.

"Something hard, anything hard." She spat, pushing her fingers through the strands of her hair.

"Well, I have somethin' for you..." The bartender grimaced.

"No sexual quips at me, now get me liquor and you won't have a vine spiraling down your throat." She retorted as the bartender looked over at me.

"And you?" He hastily pointed as I shook my head.

"Nah, nothin' for me." I swatted him away as Ivy grunted.

"Come on, Harls its no fun to be drinking by myself." She glared at me before turning back to the bartender. "She'll have what I'm having." He nodded quickly before grabbing two glasses from under the bar table. I sighed, but could tell there was something Ivy desperately wanted to talk about. I sure hope it wasn't about me leaving the Joker again. I was getting sick of that conversation. My relationship is healthy, I love Mistah J and he loves me. I don't need to question that, I don't need to prove it to others.

I stared around the smoky bar, it was dimly lit making it pretty hard to see. Thugs were at each end, talking and clinking beer glasses loudly. There was a group playing pool on one side and another group gawking over a girl who was dancing on the pool table, slowly ripping away her clothes. Guys began to squawk and holler at her, mouths dripping with drool. The light above her buzzed on and off, showing off her slender figure. She looked familiar but I couldn't quite place her.

"Two brandy's." The bartender called, scooting the drinks towards us. Red took hers down in one swig. I smelled it and wanted to gag, the scent was so strong. But I tried to muster up the courage to down it. I picked the glass up and pressed it to my lips. I parted my lips slowly letting the burning liquid pierce down my throat as I coughed.

"Oh, come on. It's just a brandy." Pam laughed, clinking her empty glass to mine. "Another round." She called out to the bartender as she turned around on the lopsided stool. Her eyes came into contact to the woman dancing on the pool table. Her eyebrows knitted as she eyed her up and down. Her eyes then seemed to trace the men around her, cheering and trying to grab at her.

"Such pigs. All men are." She grunted again.

"Not all of us are." A hefty man responded, sitting down next to me on the barstool calling over for the bartender. His voice was deep and smooth, something I never heard before. His skin was browned, his muscles very defined, his costume as red and metallic. He seemed to have a red piece of glass over his left eye.

The bartender slid the drinks over to us again as my stomach twisted. I didn't want to drink that again. Ivy downed her drink, gave me a perplexed look then downed mine. Her head looked like it was starting to swim.

"And who do we owe the pleasure?" Ivy motioned with her glass over to the man.

"Deadshot." He responded cooly, downing a beer in his hand. "I'm guessing your Poison Ivy and you're Harley Quinn. The Joker's girl." I nodded, a bit intimidated by this man. A guy then walked in, reaching over Deadshot's side to whisper in his ear. Ivy looked at me wickedly.

"Bet you can seduce this man." She laughed as she pointed.

"I'm a one guy man, Red." I crossed my arms as I shifted back and forth on the barstool making it squeak.

"Aw, come on Harls! It'd be fun. Plus, he been makin' eyes at you." Ivy batted her eyelashes as I glanced back over him. A bit in disbelief. No guy really eyed me much, especially when I was next to Ivy. I looked down at my costume, it did cover me up a whole lot. Sometimes I didn't feel that attractive.

"I'm not that attractive like you, Pammy. You should give it a try." I patted her back as she shook her head.

"Nah, not my game. I'm going to visit the little girls room." She winked as she trotted away. I turned my head to find Deadshot looking right at me.

"You were saying you don't feel attractive?" Deadshot spoke with a monotone.

"What's it to you?" I spat as I stuck my tongue out.

"You have curves in the right places, maybe you should just update your outfit. Show off what you want to." Deadshot commented as I looked down at my clothes.

"Do they really look that outdated?" I sighed as he shrugged.

"It's not bad, but if it's making you feel bad it's probably time for change, right?" He pointed as he looked my dead in my eyes.

"You have beautiful blue eyes. Don't hide them under a mask. Everyone knows who you are anyway." He scoffed.

"Oh, shut up! What do you know?!"

"Sure, Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Psychiatrist that fell in love with the craziest patient of all, the Joker." He recalled, taking another swig of beer. The drink from earlier started to swirl in my head. The steam in my face wasn't making it feel any better.

" _Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP_!" I swung my arms around as he reached out to me, pulling my jesters cap off of my head. Out flew my blonde pigtails in a raggedy mess.

"Why would you want to cover that up? You already look so much better." Ivy walked back, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Nuh, uh, uh." Ivy wagged her finger at Deadshot. "No undressing on the first date."

"Puh-lease!" I spat out, feeling a blush creep across my face. I haven't been commented like that by a guy before... well for a long time anyways.

"I better break up this flirt fest. I got to bring you back before Joker get's pissed. As much as I would like to punch him out, I know that wouldn't make my Harl's very happy." She sputtered as I could feel my head getting lighter and lighter like a balloon. I stood up from the stool, feeling a little woozy. I must really be a lightweight.

"Short leash, huh?" Deadshot muttered as I grabbed his collar around neck, pulling him up to my face. A planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving a stain of red lips.

"I can do what I want." I smiled, placing a hand to my hip as Ivy looked at me in bewilderment.

"Wow, Harls. Didn't think you had it in you." The back of the bar began to move, a man suddenly ran out the door. It was so dark I couldn't see him until the moons light hit him on his way out. _Shit_. _**Shit**_ , this is bad. The mans face was painted into a clown face with spray-on green hair. Joker had sent one of his henchmen to spy on her and now he was running to tell Joker what she just did.

"Fuck, we got to go, Ivy!" I blathered, running out the door and hopping back into her corvette. She followed suit, jumping in alongside me as we speeded off back to the apartment.

* * *

I ran all the way up the stairs as fast as I could hoping that I could reach the Joker first before the henchman. As I finally found our door, I kicked it open to reveal a very stern Joker sitting at the desk with a pointed look.

"Harley, welcome back." He spoke in a slither.

"T-Thanks, Mistah J." I responded nervously as I clicked the door shut with my heel.

"Why so nervous?" He stood up stretching his arms out for me to hug him. I slowly made my way over to him, holding out my arms as I brought him into an embrace. "You have your hair out. That's interesting." He muttered as he pushed me into his chest, petting my head softly. He smelled of face paint and cotton.

"Do you like it?" I hesitantly asked.

"Of course I do, but I like it better when I'm the one who rips your outfit off!" His voice shrieked, his nails dug into my forearms as he held me in place. "Who the hell were you kissing at the bar tonight, Harls?"

"I'm sorry, Puddin' I had a bit to drink and-"

"Drinking... you're crazy enough without the liquor, why drink liquor and cloud your sense of judgement too?" He smack my face so hard, I twirled around and landed on the floor in a cold heap. "Don't you dare go running around on me again, you don't see me kissing everything that comes my way."

"Well, maybe if ya gave me more attention, I wouldn't have to!" I retorted, getting up from the ground as tears bubbled in my eyes. I ran to the door and burst out of it.

" ** _HARLEY_**!" He shouted angrily as I ignored him, running my way down the stairs. When I come back he'll see, he'll see how much he wants me. How much I can be that woman he aspires from me. I'll become a new Harley Quinn.

I'm going to take Deadshot's advice.


End file.
